Is community retirement living right for your parent?

Your parent keeps their own front door, whether that is a flat, an apartment or a bungalow, and pays a service charge on top of rent or a mortgage for a lounge, a garden, an alarm system and somebody managing the building day to day. That is the whole offer for most schemes: housing, company and a safety net.

Age restrictions apply almost everywhere: independent schemes are built for a minimum age, and extra care schemes usually set a higher one again, since they are designed and staffed for people with a higher level of need. The exact age varies by developer, so check a scheme's own limit before arranging a viewing.

Independent retirement living gives you that setting but no personal care. Nobody on site is there to help with washing, dressing or medication. Extra care housing, sometimes called assisted living, adds exactly that. The personal care service is registered with and inspected by the Care Quality Commission, staff are on site to provide it up to 24 hours a day, and your parent buys a package of care hours alongside the service charge.

The ladder below places both against staying at home and against a care home, so you can see what changes at each step.

If the house itself, rather than your parent's health, is the main problem, a granny annexe or a more manageable house nearby can solve that without a move into a scheme built specifically for retirement.

Ground rent used to add a further ongoing cost to some leasehold retirement properties. For any retirement lease created since 1 April 2023 it is zero, following a change in the law, so ask when a lease was granted if you are looking at buying rather than renting.

Read the lease itself before your parent commits to buying, not only the sales brochure. Some retirement leases require the property to be marketed through the scheme's own sales team, or need the landlord's consent before a sale can complete, either of which can slow things down when the time comes to sell. Age UK advises checking specifically for any restriction on selling the property, or on leaving it to a relative in your parent's will, alongside the deferred management fee, before signing anything.

Some retirement housing, particularly older sheltered schemes, is rented rather than bought. Renting avoids the resale question and the deferred fee altogether, since there is no property to sell, though your parent builds no equity in it either. Ask a scheme directly whether it is offered for rent, for sale, or both, since many run both models side by side.

Distance from family is worth weighing carefully. A single developer often has only one or two schemes in a region, so the nearest one is not always in the town your parent already lives in. Moving further away can mean fewer of the small, everyday visits from children or grandchildren, even where the scheme itself suits your parent well. If staying close to family matters more than the setting, weigh that against what the move offers, since it is not something a good scheme can make up for.

When you visit, ask to see the lease or tenancy agreement in full, not only a summary sheet, and ask directly what happens if your parent's needs grow: whether an outside carer can be brought in, and whether there is a waiting list for extra care housing if one exists nearby. A short visit rarely brings this up on its own.

House rules vary a good deal between schemes too. Some restrict which pets are allowed, or do not allow them at all, and most set visiting hours or a limit on overnight stays for family. None of this shows up on a website, so ask before your parent grows attached to a particular flat.

Extra care housing usually costs more than an independent scheme, because part of the service charge already pays for care staff on site, and your parent then buys a package of care hours on top of it. An independent scheme's service charge does not include any of that, which is why it sits lower, and why a family choosing between the two needs to add the cost of any care separately before comparing them.

Attendance Allowance is not affected by living in retirement housing, since it is not a care home. It stops, usually after 28 days, only if your parent later moves into a care home the local authority pays towards, whether in full or in part. If your parent's savings are limited and extra care housing is what they need, ask the council for a care needs assessment; some extra care schemes are allocated through this route, and the council may contribute towards the care hours.

Weigh the two lists against your parent's health today, not against how things might change next year, since a move into a scheme is slower to reverse than adding a carer's hours. If your parent needs regular personal care rather than company and less upkeep, read how care homes work alongside this page, and see how a nursing home differs from a care home if health needs are part of the picture too.

1. 1

   List what your parent needs help with today

   Today

   Company and less upkeep point towards independent retirement living. Regular help with washing, dressing or meals points towards extra care housing, or a carer visiting the home your parent already has.
2. 2

   Ask a scheme for its full costs in writing

   Before you visit

   The service charge, any ground rent, exactly what is included, and the deferred management fee due on resale. A reputable scheme sets all of this out before you commit to anything.
3. 3

   Check the CQC rating if you are looking at extra care

   Free

   Extra care housing that provides personal care is inspected like a care home. Read the most recent inspection report on the Care Quality Commission's website before you visit.
4. 4

   If staying in the family home is still an option, look at hourly care first

   This week

   Search hourly carers near your parent's postcode. It costs nothing to look, and knowing what a few hours of help a week would cost makes the retirement living service charge easier to weigh up.