The short answer
- Start with what your relative needs, not a general listA private carer might visit for an hour a day, cover the night, or live in. The right fit depends on the hours and the tasks, not a checklist of ideal traits.
- Personality shapes daily life more than a CVEmpathy, patience and clear communication show up in how someone answers a specific question at interview, not in a list of qualifications.
- On PrimeCarers, the safety checks are already doneIdentity, right to work and an enhanced DBS check on the Update Service are confirmed before a profile appears, and every carer completes an online interview with us first.
- Compare a shortlist rather than deciding on the first callMessage two or three carers, ask the same questions of each, and notice how they talk about past clients before you commit to one.
Carers on PrimeCarers charge £18 to £25 an hour with our fee included. An agency typically charges £28 to £35 for the same visit.
What kind of care
What kind of care you are choosing a carer for
A private carer's day looks very different depending on whether they are calling in for an hour, covering the night, or living in the home. Deciding this first narrows the search and makes the qualities below easier to weigh.
Hourly visits
From an hour, several times a week
Overnight care
A sleeping or a waking night
Live-in care
A carer resides in the home
If most of your relative's day is the concern rather than a single visit, read what a live-in carer's day looks like before assuming several visits would cover the same ground. If it is only the nights that worry you, night-time carer costs sets out sleeping and waking rates side by side, and how to find a private carer covers where to look once you know which kind you need.
Qualities that matter
The personality and skills that make the difference
A carer's history tells you what they have done before. Their personality tells you how your relative will feel about the arrangement day to day. Both matter, and it helps to look at them separately rather than let one impression stand in for both.
Personality and trust
Empathy and patience
Ask how they handled a client who was frightened or in pain, and listen for a specific memory rather than a general answer.
Clear communication
Notice whether they check you have understood something, not just whether they speak confidently.
Adaptability
Ask what they do when a plan does not work, such as somebody refusing a wash. An answer with a real example means they have done this before.
Practical skill
Personal care and mobility
Ask about moving someone from a bed to a chair or helping with a shower, and what training they have had for it.
Medication and health monitoring
Ask how they manage a dosette box or timed medication, and what they do if a dose is missed.
Safety and hygiene habits
Ask about food hygiene and infection control, which matters more if your relative has a weakened immune system.
Extras that matter for some families
Cooking to a diet
Useful if your relative is diabetic, has swallowing difficulties, or has lost their appetite.
Confidence with exercise or physiotherapy
Useful after a fall, a stroke, or a hip operation.
A shared language or cultural understanding
Useful if your relative is more comfortable in a language other than English, or has particular customs around food, faith or modesty.
None of the three groups above is checked for you automatically. Personality and skill are for you to judge at interview and from the references on a carer's profile; PrimeCarers does not test or verify them, because doing so is not part of the four checks that confirm who someone is and whether they can legally work here. What makes a good carer and top private carer qualities go further into the traits worth watching for, with more examples of each.
Checking who you hire
What to check before a carer starts
A friendly interview is not the same as a background check. Four things confirm facts a personality cannot: who someone is, whether they can legally work here, whether they have a relevant criminal record, and whether they can hold a conversation about the job.
Before you decide
0 of 6 ticked
Identity and right to work
Criminal record
Beyond the paperwork
On PrimeCarers, the identity check, the right to work check and the enhanced DBS check are all done before a carer's profile appears, and every carer completes an online interview with us as well. Background checks on a private carer sets out exactly what each of those checks covers, and what none of them tells you. Arranging care directly yourself makes several of these your own responsibility; how to check a private carer walks through doing them, and do private carers need a DBS check? explains the route a self-employed carer now uses to get one. Checked against gov.uk on 5 September 2026.
What to ask
What to ask before you decide
A useful interview is not a list of yes-or-no questions. It is a short conversation that shows you how someone thinks, and it is where personality and skill both become visible at once.
Experience and skills
Ask for specifics
Personality and compatibility
Ask about a real situation
Safety and technical knowledge
Confirm, do not assume
Top tips to interview private carers has the fuller list of questions by topic, and choosing your private carer walks through what to ask and check at each stage of the conversation.
Comparing a shortlist
Comparing a shortlist without rushing the decision
Meeting two or three carers rather than one gives you something to compare. A few signs from the interview are worth weighing against each other before you choose.
Good signs
- Specific, consistent answers about past experience
- They ask you questions back, about your relative and the home
- They talk about previous clients with respect, without naming them
- They are clear about their availability and what they can and cannot do
- Their manner with your relative at a first meeting feels comfortable
Signs to slow down on
- Vague answers to a direct question about experience
- Dismissive comments about a previous client or employer
- Reluctance to talk through a specific situation, such as a fall or a refusal of care
- Pressure to decide immediately, or to skip the checks
- A rate well below what other carers with similar experience are charging
From shortlist to first visit
From this page to a carer who has started
Four steps, and the checking on PrimeCarers is done before you ever see a profile.
- 1
Search carers near you
FreeFilter by the type of care, the hours, and anything specific your relative needs. Every profile shows a carer's rate, experience and reviews, alongside confirmation that their identity, right to work and enhanced DBS have already been checked and their online interview completed. - 2
Message two or three, and interview them
This weekAsk the same handful of questions of each, using the themes above, so you have something to compare rather than a single impression. - 3
Read their references and ask about training
Before you decideThis is the part no background check covers. A phone call to a previous client, or a specific question about recent training, tells you more than a badge on a profile. - 4
Book the first visit with a written care plan
Week 1Agree what the carer will do and when, and treat the first few visits as part of the decision. [Building a care plan with your carer](/private-carers/private-carers-care-plan) has a starting template.
Questions
Questions families ask about choosing a carer
There is no single trait that matters more than the others; empathy and patience without communication can still leave your relative confused about what is happening, and communication without patience can feel rushed. Look at personality and practical skill together, and weigh them against what your relative specifically needs. What makes a good carer goes through the traits in more detail.
Ask to see the certificate and confirm whether the carer is on the DBS Update Service. If they are, you can check their status online with their permission, rather than trusting a piece of paper that may be months or years old. An enhanced DBS check on its own cannot show a concern that was never reported to the police. Do private carers need a DBS check? covers this in full.
Ask about their experience with your relative's specific condition, how they would handle a real situation such as a refusal of care, and any safety or technical skills the role needs, such as using a hoist. Top tips to interview private carers has the fuller list by topic.
There is no law that requires a family arranging care directly to see a DBS certificate before a carer starts, though a right to work check is a legal duty on anyone employing someone. Asking to see an enhanced DBS certificate, and checking it is current, is standard practice worth insisting on regardless. On PrimeCarers, every carer's enhanced DBS check is already confirmed before you see their profile.
There is no fixed number, but meeting two or three carers gives you a genuine comparison, where meeting only one leaves you deciding to accept or decline a single impression. Ask each of them the same questions so the answers are easier to weigh against each other.
A private carer found through PrimeCarers is self-employed and chosen directly by your family, usually at a lower hourly rate, with the same carer visiting each time. An agency assigns staff from a rota, is CQC-registered, and typically charges more per hour. Care agency or private carer? compares the two routes, and hiring completely independently, in full.
There is no legal minimum qualification for a self-employed carer engaged directly by a family, unlike staff at a CQC-registered agency. A carer might hold a Level 2 or 3 Diploma in Health and Social Care, the qualification that replaced the old NVQ, or have completed the Care Certificate, so it is worth asking what training they have had for tasks specific to your relative's needs rather than assuming a qualification covers everything.