The short answer
- The meeting settles fit, not just factsA certificate confirms who somebody is and whether they have a relevant conviction. Only sitting with them, and watching how your relative responds, tells you whether they are right for this house.
- Fifteen minutes of preparation changes the meetingWrite down what your relative needs help with and what you want to see, so the conversation has something to work from instead of running on general impressions.
- A clean DBS check is not the same as a carer who suits youIt rules out a relevant conviction or bar on file. It says nothing about personality, safety habits or whether they can do the specific tasks your relative needs.
- It is fine to see more than one carer before decidingThere is no obligation to book the first person you meet, and a second meeting with someone else often makes the right choice obvious.
PrimeCarers is an introductory service, not a care agency. Carers are self-employed, and their identity, right to work and enhanced DBS are checked, and an online interview completed, before their profile appears. This page is about the meeting you have with them, on top of that.
Before they arrive
What to have ready before the interview
A carer meeting works better as a conversation about a specific week than as a general chat. Fifteen minutes writing this down beforehand means neither of you is guessing.
Before you sit down together
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About your relative
About the role
If you are hiring directly rather than through PrimeCarers
If you are meeting carers through PrimeCarers, their identity, right to work and enhanced DBS check are already confirmed and their online interview already done before you ever see their profile, so this meeting is free to focus on fit rather than paperwork. How we vet every carer sets out what that covers. If you found the carer yourself, how to find a private carer has the fuller list of what to check before anyone starts.
What to look for
Five things worth watching for in the room
These are the things a certificate cannot tell you, and they are what most families end up deciding on. None of them needs a trick question. A straightforward conversation, with time to notice the answers, is usually enough.
Personality and how you get on
This is the one that matters most day to day, because a carer who is right on paper but wrong in the room makes every visit harder. Notice whether your relative relaxes around them, and whether the conversation feels easy rather than like an interview.
Try asking
What do you enjoy doing outside work, and how did you come to care work?
How they think about safety
An experienced carer talks about safety without being prompted twice: where a fall is most likely, what a home could do to reduce the risk, and what they would do if something went wrong. A carer who has never thought about it will struggle to answer at all.
Try asking
Walking round the house, what would you change to make it safer?
Whether they can do the specific tasks
General experience is not the same as experience with your relative’s needs. Ask about the tasks that matter here, whether that is a hoist, a catheter, medication at set times or a particular way of moving somebody safely, and ask them to talk you through it.
Try asking
Have you supported someone with [the specific need] before, and what did that involve day to day?
Anything extra they bring
Some carers have picked up skills beyond personal care: cooking for a particular diet, a steady hand for gardening, a second language, or experience with a specific condition. None of it is required, but it can make a real difference if it matches what your relative would enjoy.
Try asking
Is there anything you are particularly good at or enjoy that might be useful here?
The feeling once they have left
After the checks and the questions, sit with how the visit felt. A carer who ticks every box on paper but leaves you uneasy is worth a second meeting before you decide, and a carer your relative warmed to is worth weighing against a slightly shorter answer sheet.
Qualities like patience, reliability and warmth matter here too, and they tend to show themselves over the course of the conversation rather than in a single answer. What makes a good carer and private carer qualities go further into what to look for beyond this meeting, once a carer is working with your family.
Running the interview
How to run the meeting, step by step
Treat it as two people deciding about each other, not one person being assessed. A carer is also working out whether the job suits them, and a carer who asks you questions back is usually a good sign.
- 1
Start with a cup of tea, not a form
First few minutesGive them a few minutes to settle before the questions start. If your relative is well enough, let this part happen with them in the room, so they are meeting the carer rather than being introduced to a decision that has already been made. - 2
Talk through what a typical visit would involve
10 to 15 minutesUse the notes you prepared. Describe a real morning or evening and ask them to talk you through how they would handle it, rather than asking whether they "can" do something in general. - 3
Show them the home and the tasks
10 minutesWalk them round, point out anything relevant to safety or mobility, and show them any equipment that would be used. An experienced carer will often point out something you had not thought of, and that is worth noticing. - 4
Ask if they have questions, then tell them where you stand
Last few minutesThank them for their time and give them room to ask anything. If you are sure, it is fine to offer the role there and then. If you are not, say you are still meeting other people and when you expect to decide, rather than leaving it unclear.
Our fuller list of interview questions, covering safety, medication and what to do if something goes wrong, is in questions to ask at interview.
What a check does not tell you
What is already confirmed, and what only the meeting can tell you
It helps to be clear about which of these questions a background check already answers, so the meeting is not spent re-checking something a certificate already settled.
| Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers | Only the meeting can tell you | |
|---|---|---|
| Who they are, and their right to work here | Nothing left to check | |
| A relevant criminal record or bar | Enhanced DBS seen, kept current on the Update Service | Ask if a certificate is not on the Update Service, so it can be checked again |
| Whether your relative will get on with them | Only watching them together tells you this | |
| How they think about safety in a real home | Ask them directly rather than assuming | |
| Whether they can do the specific tasks needed | Ask for an example from previous care they have given | |
| Training and references | On the carer’s own profile, not verified by PrimeCarers | Read them yourself and ask a question only someone who worked with them could answer |
Who they are, and their right to work here
- Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers
- Only the meeting can tell you
- Nothing left to check
A relevant criminal record or bar
- Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers
- Enhanced DBS seen, kept current on the Update Service
- Only the meeting can tell you
- Ask if a certificate is not on the Update Service, so it can be checked again
Whether your relative will get on with them
- Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers
- Only the meeting can tell you
- Only watching them together tells you this
How they think about safety in a real home
- Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers
- Only the meeting can tell you
- Ask them directly rather than assuming
Whether they can do the specific tasks needed
- Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers
- Only the meeting can tell you
- Ask for an example from previous care they have given
Training and references
- Confirmed before you meet, on PrimeCarers
- On the carer’s own profile, not verified by PrimeCarers
- Only the meeting can tell you
- Read them yourself and ask a question only someone who worked with them could answer
Checked against gov.uk, 5 September 2026. Background checks on a private carer covers what each check does and does not reach in full.
Deciding
Deciding, and what should make you pause
Once the meeting is over, weigh the answers against how it felt to be in the room. Both matter, and a strong answer that leaves you uneasy is worth a second conversation before you commit.
Signs it is worth going ahead
- Your relative seemed at ease with them by the end of the visit
- Answers were specific, drawn from real experience rather than general reassurance
- They asked questions back about your relative and the home
- They were open about their DBS certificate and, if hiring directly, their insurance
- They gave you a clear answer about what happens if they are ill or want time off
Signs worth a pause
- Your relative seemed uneasy or withdrawn, even if the answers sounded right
- Vague or rehearsed answers to a specific question about the tasks
- Reluctance to discuss their DBS certificate or, if hiring directly, insurance
- Pressure to decide immediately, or to pay anything before a visit has happened
- No answer about cover for illness or holiday, or discomfort at being asked
A written profile and a certificate say what a carer can show you on paper. Sitting with them, and watching how your relative responds, tells you the part paper cannot, and it is worth trusting that even when it is hard to put into words. There is no obligation to decide after one meeting: seeing a second or third carer, and comparing how each visit felt, often makes the right choice clearer rather than harder.
Getting started
From this page to the first visit
Four steps, and the first two cost nothing.
- 1
Shortlist two or three carers
FreeSearch carers near you and read their rates, experience and reviews before you message anyone. On PrimeCarers, identity, right to work and DBS are already checked at this point. - 2
Meet each one, in person or on video
This weekUse the preparation and the five areas on this page. Have your relative there if they are able to be. - 3
Check the DBS Update Service, if you are hiring directly
A minute, with their permissionIf a carer is not found through PrimeCarers, confirm their DBS status yourself before the first visit rather than relying on a certificate you have not seen. - 4
Book the first visit with a short written plan
Week 1Agree what the carer will do and note it down. You can add to it as you both learn what works, and change the hours whenever you need to.
Search carers near you to build your shortlist, and once you have chosen, building a care plan with your carer has a starting template for writing down what was agreed.
Questions
Questions families ask about choosing a carer
Ask about how they would handle a real visit with your relative, how they think about safety in the home, and whether they have supported someone with the same needs before. The five areas on this page, personality, safety, the specific tasks, anything extra they bring, and how the visit felt overall, cover what most families end up deciding on. A fuller list of interview questions goes further into medication and emergencies.
Where they are able to be, yes. They are the one who will be washed, dressed or kept company by this person, and meeting them together, rather than introducing a decision after it has been made, gives you a much better sense of how the two of them get on.
Keep looking. Whatever the certificates and the answers say, if your relative is uneasy around someone, that matters more than anything on paper. It is a normal reason to see another carer rather than a failed interview.
No. Identity, right to work and an enhanced DBS check, kept current on the DBS Update Service, are confirmed before a carer’s profile appears, along with an online interview. How we vet every carer covers exactly what that involves. Training, references and fit are still for you to judge at the meeting.
There is no set number. Seeing more than one lets you compare how each visit felt rather than judging the first person against nothing, and it is fine to keep looking if the first meeting leaves you unsure.
Trust the hesitation. Ask more specific questions about a real situation rather than general ones, arrange a second meeting, or see another carer before deciding. A strong-looking profile is not a reason to override a genuine doubt.
Yes. On PrimeCarers the minimum booking is a single one-hour visit, with no package to sign up to, so you can try a carer for a morning before agreeing to anything regular. Building a care plan with your carer covers what to note down once you decide to continue.