The short answer
- A break is not a change to your relative’s careEverything already in place, from the GP to the memory service, carries on as before. What changes is who is in the house.
- Build up to it rather than starting with a weekAn hour with you still at home, then a few hours with you out, then a day or a night, then a week. Each stage is a smaller ask than the one after it.
- What you know about your relative is the handoverThe name they answer to, the hours they are steadiest, what a difficult hour looks like and what settles it. None of that is written down unless you write it.
- Sort out the money before you bookA carer's assessment is your right under the Care Act 2014. Booking a carer yourself costs from £18 an hour on PrimeCarers, and a council-funded care home stay can stop Attendance Allowance.
This page is about arranging a break when the person you care for has dementia. For the kinds of break and the funding routes in general, follow the guides linked in each section.
The short answer
What dementia changes about arranging a break
Respite care is a short, planned spell where somebody else takes over the caring. Dementia does not change what it is or who can ask for it. It changes how much preparation a break needs, and how much of it your relative is likely to feel.
Routine carries more weight
Why preparation matters
A new face is a bigger ask
Who covers for you
Where the break happens matters
Home, a day centre or a stay away
The time of day is part of the plan
Not every hour is the same
None of this is a reason to put a break off, and wanting one is not a sign that your relative needs different care. When is it time to consider respite care? looks at that decision in depth, and what is respite care? sets out the kinds of break in general. If the late afternoons are hardest, what is sundowning? explains the pattern, and dementia care is the wider guide.
Building up to it
Why the first break is the hardest, and how to make it smaller
The first time somebody else takes over is the hardest for both of you, and the reason is usually the size of the jump. Going from doing everything yourself to a week away asks your relative to accept a new person, a different routine and your absence at once. Stages spread that out, and give you something to go on before the longer break.
The first visit
An hour, with you still in the house
The carer comes for an hour and helps with one small thing while you stay in the next room. Your relative meets a new person without also losing you for the afternoon.
What this stage tells you
Whether the two of them get on, and how your relative takes being helped by somebody who is not you.
£18 to £25 an hour on PrimeCarers, with our fee included.
The same carer, a week or two later
Two or three hours, with you out
The same carer, at the same time of day, and this time you leave the house. Stay somewhere you can get back from quickly, so the first one is short and easy to cut off.
What this stage tells you
How your relative is when you are not in the building, and whether the carer can settle them without you.
The same £18 to £25 an hour. A three-hour visit is one booking, not three.
Once two or three visits have gone well
A full day, or a first night
A whole day with the same carer, or a carer sleeping in the house so you get an unbroken night. Which one depends on whether the days or the nights are wearing you down.
What this stage tells you
The evening and the night, which are the hours a longer break depends on and the hours families worry about most.
£130 to £145 a night for a carer sleeping in the house, or the hourly rate for a long day.
When the shorter breaks have worked
A week away
A live-in carer at home for the week, or a short stay somewhere that takes dementia bookings. Your relative has met the carer several times by now, so the week is a longer version of a day that already went well.
What this stage tells you
Nothing new, because the earlier stages have already done the testing.
From £1,050 a week for a live-in carer at home, against roughly £1,100 to £1,600 a week for a care home place.
Rates are what families pay carers on PrimeCarers, with our fee included. If a stage goes badly, book it again rather than going back to no help at all: a second try with the same carer is a smaller ask than starting over with somebody new.
Do the stages with the same carer each time, because that is what turns a stranger into somebody your relative part-recognises. On PrimeCarers you book directly with a carer you have chosen, so keeping the same person means agreeing dates with them; the same carer every visit explains why continuity counts for more with dementia. If the nights are wearing you down, night care for dementia covers what an overnight carer does.
The four routes
The four ways to get a break, and what each asks of your relative
The NHS lists day centres, care at home, a short stay in a care home, help from friends and family, respite holidays and sitting services as the ways to arrange a break. With dementia, the question underneath them all is how much change the arrangement asks your relative to take on.
| What it involves | What it asks of your relative | What it costs | |
|---|---|---|---|
| A carer at home | A carer covers the visits, the nights or the whole week at your relative’s home | A new person, and nothing else. The rooms, the food and the routine stay as they are | £18 to £25 an hour, £130 to £145 a night, or from £1,050 a week live-in, fee included |
| A day centre or a dementia cafe | Your relative goes out for a morning or a day, usually the same day each week | Getting there, and settling in with people they do not know at first, which eases as it becomes a fixture | Each centre sets its own charge. Ask the centre, or the council’s adult social care team, what runs locally |
| A short stay in a care home | A stay of a weekend to several weeks, in a home that takes short-term bookings | The most of the four: a different building, different staff and a different routine, all at once | Roughly £1,100 to £1,600 a week, and a council-funded stay usually stops Attendance Allowance |
| Family and friends on a rota | A sibling, friend or neighbour takes over for an afternoon or a weekend, agreed in advance | The least, if it is somebody your relative already knows. A familiar face is worth a great deal | Nothing, though it works better written down as dates than left as a general offer |
A carer at home
- What it involves
- A carer covers the visits, the nights or the whole week at your relative’s home
- What it asks of your relative
- A new person, and nothing else. The rooms, the food and the routine stay as they are
- What it costs
- £18 to £25 an hour, £130 to £145 a night, or from £1,050 a week live-in, fee included
A day centre or a dementia cafe
- What it involves
- Your relative goes out for a morning or a day, usually the same day each week
- What it asks of your relative
- Getting there, and settling in with people they do not know at first, which eases as it becomes a fixture
- What it costs
- Each centre sets its own charge. Ask the centre, or the council’s adult social care team, what runs locally
A short stay in a care home
- What it involves
- A stay of a weekend to several weeks, in a home that takes short-term bookings
- What it asks of your relative
- The most of the four: a different building, different staff and a different routine, all at once
- What it costs
- Roughly £1,100 to £1,600 a week, and a council-funded stay usually stops Attendance Allowance
Family and friends on a rota
- What it involves
- A sibling, friend or neighbour takes over for an afternoon or a weekend, agreed in advance
- What it asks of your relative
- The least, if it is somebody your relative already knows. A familiar face is worth a great deal
- What it costs
- Nothing, though it works better written down as dates than left as a general offer
Sources: NHS, Carers' breaks and respite care; Alzheimer's Society on respite care in England. Care home figures are the range families report for a residential place, so ask any home what a short stay costs.
Which one fits depends on what you need the time for. A weekly morning at a day centre keeps working over months, and day centre or a day carer at home? sets the two side by side; what are dementia cafes? covers the drop-in version, often the easiest first outing because you can go too. For a couple of hours, sitting services explained covers what a sitter does. For a week or more, live-in care keeps your relative at home with one carer, and at what point should someone with dementia go into care? is the place to start if a short stay is a way of asking a longer question. The NHS guide to carers' breaks and respite care lists what the council can arrange, and Alzheimer's Society covers respite in England.
What to hand over
What the person covering needs to know about your relative
Whoever covers for you needs the practical facts: medication times, mealtimes and the numbers to ring. With dementia there is a second layer, which is everything you know about this person that has never been written down. It takes an evening, and it is what lets a carer settle your relative rather than only follow instructions.
What to write down before the first break
0 of 7 ticked
Who your relative is
The shape of the day
When things are difficult
Tell the GP surgery, and the memory service if one is involved, that a break is happening and who will be covering. Their visits carry on as normal. NICE's dementia guideline asks professionals to treat a move into respite care like any other change of setting, and to review a person's needs afterwards, so ask for that review if a stay away leaves your relative less settled.
Cost and benefits
What a break costs, and what happens to the benefits
Two money questions come up together. The first is what the cover costs. The second is what a break does to Carer's Allowance and Attendance Allowance, which is the part that catches families out when the break is a stay in a care home.
£18-£25
An hour for a carer at home
What families pay carers on PrimeCarers, fee included. Agencies charge £28 to £35.
£130+
A night for a carer sleeping in
Up to £145, and more for a waking night where your relative is up and about.
£1,050+
A week for a live-in carer
Agencies typically charge from £1,400 for the same week.
£23,250
Savings threshold for council help
Below this the council may contribute; below £14,250 savings are disregarded, though income still counts.
PrimeCarers rates and the England capital limits, September 2026. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland set their own limits.
The free routes start with a carer's assessment. Under section 10 of the Care Act 2014 the council must assess a carer who may have needs for support, whatever your finances or your relative's. What is a carer's assessment? covers what happens in one, local authority funding explains the money that can follow, and Attendance Allowance and Carer's Allowance explained cover the benefits above. The cost of care for dementia sets out what a year costs, and current rates show what carers charge today.
How to arrange it
Four steps to a first break
You do not have to decide the whole plan before you start. The first two steps cost nothing, and the third can be a single hour booked for next week.
- 1
Ask the council for a carer’s assessment
Free, any timeRing the adult social care team and ask for one. It is your right under the Care Act 2014, whatever your relative's savings, and whether or not they want the council involved. It takes a few weeks, so ask now and carry on with the rest of this list. What is a carer's assessment? explains it. - 2
Write down the day, and who your relative is
One eveningUse the list in what to hand over. Doing it first means you can tell each carer what the job involves, and their answers will show who has worked with dementia before. - 3
Find a carer and book one hour to begin with
From £18 an hourSearch carers near you by postcode and message two or three. Every carer on PrimeCarers has had an identity check, a right to work check and an enhanced DBS check on the Update Service, and has been interviewed online. They hold insurance covering them while they work. Ask about their dementia experience and training, and read the references on their profile: those are yours to judge rather than ours. - 4
Book the next stage while the first is fresh
The same weekIf the hour went well, put the next visit in the diary rather than waiting until you need it. The build-up works only if visits stay close enough together for your relative to remember the carer.
Questions
Questions families ask about respite and dementia
Yes. You do not need a diagnosis, an assessment or anyone’s permission to book cover yourself, or to ask the council for a carer’s assessment. A diagnosis matters for other things, such as access to a memory service, so it is worth pursuing separately. What is respite care? covers the routes.
Nobody can promise how a particular person will react, and much depends on whether the break happens at home or somewhere new. Alzheimer’s Society advises keeping the routine close to normal, sending familiar objects and photographs if your relative stays elsewhere, and agreeing in advance how often you will visit. NICE asks professionals to review a person’s needs after every move between settings, so tell the GP or memory service if your relative comes back unsettled.
For a first break, cover at home asks less of somebody with dementia, because only the person helping changes. A short stay away brings company and a change of scene, and suits families who need a full week. A live-in carer starts from £1,050 a week on PrimeCarers, fee included, against roughly £1,100 to £1,600 for a care home place. Live-in care explains the week at home.
Carer’s Allowance depends on caring at least 35 hours in a benefit week running Sunday to Saturday, and Carers UK explains those hours can be completed at any point in that week, so a day or two of respite need not affect the payment. Tell the Carer’s Allowance Unit if you go away or into hospital, or if the person you care for goes into hospital or a care home. Carer’s Allowance explained covers the benefit.
It can. gov.uk says you cannot usually get Attendance Allowance while you live in a care home and the local authority is paying for your care, and that it continues if you pay all of the care home costs yourself. Ask the council how it treats a short stay before agreeing to one. Attendance Allowance explains who qualifies.
The agreement is between you and the carer. It says a visit cancelled by the client is payable in full, with unplanned hospitalisation, illness, or another reason the carer agrees as the exceptions, so tell the carer as soon as you know. Notice to end an arrangement is 48 hours for hourly care. PrimeCarers charges nothing itself for a cancellation.