What a companion visit looks like, hour by hour

Nothing in that shape is fixed. A carer who has been coming for two months will have their own order, built around what your relative likes and what time they get up, and a good visit often means dropping the plan because your relative wants to talk about something. What the blocks show is the proportion: a little arriving and leaving, and a long middle that is company rather than tasks. Companionship care is bought by the hour so that middle is long enough to be worth having.

The advantages of companionship care cover what regular company does to somebody's week, and activities to try with a companionship carer lists what can fill that middle.

1. 1

   Knock, wait, and let them open the door

   The first thirty seconds

   A carer with a key still knocks and waits, because answering your own front door matters to somebody who has lost a lot of other decisions. If your relative is slow on their feet, agree beforehand how long the carer waits and what they do if there is no answer.
2. 2

   Say who they are and why they are there

   Every visit, not only the first

   Name, and the reason for the visit in one plain sentence. Somebody anxious, hard of hearing or living with memory problems may not place the face straight away, and being told again costs nothing.
3. 3

   Coat off, kettle on, and sit down

   Within the first few minutes

   Standing up with a coat on tells somebody you are about to leave. A carer who takes their coat off and sits down is saying the afternoon belongs to your relative, and that is understood without anybody explaining it.
4. 4

   Notice the room before asking any questions

   While the kettle boils

   Post piling up, a bin that has not gone out, food untouched, a cold house, a new bruise. A carer who visits every week is often first to see a change, and noticing it is worth more than asking how they have been.

The temptation in the first ten minutes is to fill the silence with questions, which can feel like an assessment rather than a visit. A carer who says what they can see, mentions the weather or the garden, and waits, usually gets further. If your relative has dementia, the Alzheimer's Society's guidance on how to communicate with a person with dementia is worth reading before the first visit: sit where they can see you, keep sentences short, leave a gap for them to finish, and do not try to jog their memory.

Two cups of tea, both people sitting, and enough time that your relative gets past how they are and on to what they think. That takes longer than people expect. Somebody who lives alone may need twenty minutes of ordinary talk before anything comes out about the night they could not sleep or the hospital letter they have not opened.

Around that conversation, a good carer gets things done without breaking it. The jobs below are the small blockages that build up when somebody stops being able to drive or read small print.

Halfway through, the visit either goes out or it does not. A walk to the end of the road, the corner shop, the library or the garden centre changes an afternoon, and the carer's rate does not change for leaving the house. Can carers take you out? covers driving, who pays for a coffee, and why mileage is only chargeable when it has been agreed in advance in writing. If your relative is not up to it, the same half hour goes on photographs, a crossword, a record or something baking, and that is a full visit rather than a fallback.

There is a boundary worth knowing before the first visit. Washing, dressing, toileting and giving medication are personal care rather than companionship, booked and priced differently, though a carer who does both will help with a cardigan or a pair of shoes without it becoming another kind of visit. Companionship with light housekeeping sets out where the household jobs stop.

Then the carer writes it up: what they did, what your relative ate and drank, how they seemed, anything different from last week. It takes five minutes and it lets you see a pattern across a month rather than separate afternoons described on the phone. Writing a care plan together covers what to ask for in those notes and how to agree it at the start.

If you live at a distance, agree how you hear about anything urgent as well: a text the same day for a fall, a new bruise or a refused meal, rather than waiting for the weekly note. Caring for parents from a distance covers the rest of that arrangement.

Be prepared for the first two or three visits to feel like a disappointment. Two strangers are working out how to spend an afternoon together, in one of their front rooms. Give it until the fourth or fifth visit, by which time the carer knows which chair is your relative's and your relative has decided what to tell them. NICE suggests reviewing how home care is going within the first six weeks and then at least once a year, which is a sensible rhythm for a private arrangement too.

If your relative is refusing outright rather than going along with it reluctantly, how do you get someone to accept care? is the page to read first, and when someone with dementia refuses care covers that conversation where memory is part of the problem. Where loneliness is the main worry, helping someone who is lonely sets out what a family, a neighbour and a carer can each do, a volunteer befriender or a paid companion puts the free routes beside the paid one, and the NHS page on loneliness in older people lists befriending services worth trying alongside a paid visit.

NICE guidance for councils and home care agencies says visits to older people should last at least 30 minutes unless a shorter one has been agreed in advance for a specific task, and that care workers need enough time to work without rushing. Our one-hour minimum sits above that, and for company an hour is short: by the time the kettle has boiled and the post is open, much of it has gone.

What the visit is for is set by your family and your relative, not by us and not by a package. You agree the hours, the day and what the afternoon is meant to achieve with the carer directly, and you change it by sending them a message rather than renegotiating a contract. PrimeCarers is an introductory service: you choose the carer from their profile, rate and reviews, and the arrangement is between you and them. Every carer has had an identity check, a right to work check, an enhanced DBS check on the Update Service and an online interview before their profile appears, and they are insured while they work. What they say about their experience and training is their own account, so ask them about it.