If you think a carer is stealing from or mistreating your parent: what to do, and in what order

Safety comes first because nothing else matters if your parent is at risk tonight. Writing things down comes before any confrontation, because a note made at the time is what the council and the police can act on, and a carer who knows they are suspected may move money or put pressure on your parent. Ending it and reporting it can happen on the same day.

This page covers one situation: a paid carer you arranged yourself. If the problem is lateness, a missed task or a disagreement about how something is done, handling everyday problems with a private carer is the better place to start. If you are worried about someone other than a carer, the signs of abuse and who to tell covers the council's safeguarding process in general, and scams aimed at older people covers money taken by strangers. The private carers guide explains how arranging a self-employed carer works.

A suspicion is not proof, and nothing here assumes the worst of carers in general. You are not being asked to decide whether this carer is guilty, only to keep your parent safe and pass what you know to the people whose job it is to find out.

The lists come from chapter 14 of the Care and Support Statutory Guidance and SCIE's types and indicators of abuse. The guidance says the signs do not prove abuse but show that a closer look may be needed, and that closer look is the council's job once you report it.

Some of these have innocent explanations. A bruise can come from a knock on a door frame, and a person living with dementia may put their purse somewhere new and forget. That is why you write things down with dates and keep your conclusions separate. Something that happens once may be nothing; something that happens every Tuesday the carer is in shows a pattern, and a note of each Tuesday shows it to the people investigating.

If your parent has dementia or confusion, what they tell you still matters, so write it down in their words. Whether they can take decisions about their money is judged one decision at a time, as mental capacity and how it is assessed explains.

GOV.UK says to call 999 if a crime is in progress or someone is in immediate danger, and to call 101 or report online for a crime that is not an emergency. A carer hitting or threatening your parent, or refusing to leave the house, is a 999 call.

A note does not need to be formal. "Mum's purse had three notes in it on Monday morning, counted with her. On Tuesday evening it had one. The carer was the only person in the house on Tuesday" is more useful than a paragraph of worry. Keep the note, and any photographs of injuries or empty drawers, somewhere the carer cannot see them.

Tell the carer in writing, by message or email, that the arrangement has ended with immediate effect, and keep a copy. The contract says notices are given in writing by email, WhatsApp or the chat on the platform. You do not need to set out the details, and if the police or the council are involved it may be better not to. A short, calm message is enough: "We are ending the care arrangement with immediate effect for safety reasons. Please do not come to the house again."

If the carer lives in, ask another family member or a friend to be there when you tell them, and to stay until they have gone. If the carer refuses to leave or becomes threatening, call 999. For hourly visits too, the usual notice periods give way where immediate ending is required for safety or serious misconduct.

The contract states plainly that "Immediate termination does not waive any outstanding payment obligations owed to the Carer." So hours the carer has already worked are still owed, even while you are reporting them. The pay is for work done, and a suspected theft is a separate matter for the police. If you want to try to get back money or belongings that were taken, a solicitor or Citizens Advice can tell you your options; PrimeCarers does not give legal advice. The full client contract sets out every term.

When you ring the council, ask for adult social care and say you want to raise a safeguarding concern. Use GOV.UK's find your local council if you are not sure which one it is. Give them your dated notes and say what you have already done. The legal wording of the duty is in section 42 of the Care Act 2014, and the signs of abuse and who to tell explains what a section 42 enquiry involves and what happens if your parent does not want anything done.

GOV.UK announced Report Fraud as the replacement for Action Fraud, and explains how to report a concern about an attorney or deputy.

Stopping the carer working with other peopleSection titled Stopping%20the%20carer%20working%20with%20other%20people

The Disclosure and Barring Service keeps the lists of people barred from working with vulnerable adults. Its guidance on barring referrals says the duty to refer does not apply to family or personal arrangements or members of the public, and that a member of the public with a safeguarding concern should contact the police, social services or the person's employer, who can investigate and refer to the DBS if appropriate. A self-employed carer has no employer, so here that means the council and the police. The statutory guidance also says a local authority can make a barring referral. Tell the council plainly that you are worried the carer may be working with other people.

What PrimeCarers' contract says about its roleSection titled What%20PrimeCarers%27%20contract%20says%20about%20its%20role

The contract between you and the carer describes PrimeCarers as an introductory and payment service. It says PrimeCarers "does not supervise or monitor the Carer's work", and that "All safeguarding concerns must be addressed directly between the Client and Carer or to appropriate statutory bodies." The statutory bodies are the council and the police, who have the power to investigate. Report to them first, and do not wait for anything else before you act.

GOV.UK's guidance for firms on supporting customers who may not be able to make their own decisions explains that third party mandates, unlike lasting powers of attorney, are only valid while a person keeps mental capacity. The rules for making an LPA are on GOV.UK's lasting power of attorney pages, and becoming a deputy covers the route through the Court of Protection. If your parent has dementia, the timing matters, and lasting power of attorney and dementia explains why it is worth doing now. If you already act as an attorney, paying for care as an attorney covers what the role asks of you.

The guide for carers on handling a client's money sets out the paper trail a careful carer keeps, and it is fair to expect the same from the next one.

Finding someone newSection titled Finding%20someone%20new

When the rest is in hand, you can look for someone new. Carers on PrimeCarers have had an identity check, a right to work check, an enhanced DBS check (or PVG in Scotland, Access NI in Northern Ireland) issued within the last 18 months and an online interview before their profile appears, and every visit booked through PrimeCarers is insured. We do not check qualifications, training or references, which sit on a carer's profile for you to follow up yourself. An enhanced DBS check shows what was on record at the time it was checked. It cannot show something that was never reported, so it is not a guarantee. Background checks on a private carer explains what each check covers.

How to check a private carer walks through meeting carers, taking up references and agreeing a written plan. When you feel ready, you can search for carers near you and compare their rates, read the reviews on each profile, and talk to two or three before you agree anything. If you use our managed service, priority help finding a replacement live-in carer is one of the things it includes.