Scams and older people, and what a carer in the house changes

None of this works because somebody is careless. It works because it arrives in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday, uses a real name and a number that looks right, and asks for a decision in four minutes that would normally take a fortnight. The caller has an answer ready for every objection.

The part worth teaching above all the rest is the pressure to keep it private. No legitimate organisation asks somebody to keep a call from a spouse, a cashier or a daughter, and a bank, a police force or an energy supplier will all wait while somebody rings back on a number they already have. If a caller argues with that, your parent has their answer.

The rest of our guides on caring for an older parent cover what else a family weighs up at the same time, and the signs your parent needs help at home belongs beside it.

Agreeing a phrase sounds like an odd thing to ask of a family, so make it concrete. Pick something nobody outside the family would guess and nothing that appears on social media, tell everyone at once, and use it in a normal call so the first time is not the frightening one. The Stop! Think Fraud advice on protecting others says the same.

Say out loud to your parent that a cloned voice is a recording, not a lapse on their part. Somebody fooled once by a voice that was right can conclude their judgement has gone, and that does more damage than the money did. If you live a distance away, caring for a parent from a distance covers what else helps.

1. 1

   Ring the bank and say your parent may be a target

   An afternoon

   Banks deal with this every day and hold protections that are not advertised: limits on transfers, a pause on new payees, a note so a large payment triggers a conversation. Ask what this bank offers, taking the number from the back of the card.
2. 2

   Put 159 by the phone and use it once together

   Ten minutes

   Dialling 159 connects a caller to their own bank and, unlike an ordinary number, cannot be spoofed. Stop Scams UK, which runs it, says it reaches customers of more than 99 per cent of UK retail bank current accounts. Ring it together once, so the first time is not a frightening one.
3. 3

   Cut the volume of cold calls and post

   Half an hour

   Register the landline and mobile with the Telephone Preference Service, the marketing opt-out, and the address with the Mail Preference Service. Ask the phone provider what call screening it offers, and Trading Standards for a free no cold calling sticker.
4. 4

   Ask the bank about a trusted person arrangement

   One appointment

   Banks can often record somebody the account holder trusts, or allow limited access for a second person, without your parent handing over control. What each permits differs, so ask where the limits are. Where benefits rather than savings are the worry, the Department for Work and Pensions can appoint somebody to deal with them.
5. 5

   Sort the paperwork before it is needed

   Weeks, and a fee

   A lasting power of attorney for property and financial affairs lets somebody act if your parent can no longer manage money, and can only be made while they still can. It takes weeks to register, so it belongs in a calm month.

The order matters more than the length of the list. A bank that knows your parent may be targeted can stop a payment; a sticker on the door cannot. The opt-outs thin the traffic, but the government's guidance is clear that the Telephone Preference Service will not block somebody pretending to be an organisation your parent already deals with.

How a lasting power of attorney works covers the form, the fee and the wait. Mental capacity and how it is assessed matters if you think your parent can no longer weigh up a decision about money, because that is a specific test rather than a general impression.

This is the argument for a regular carer rather than a rota of different faces: you only notice a change if you have seen what normal looks like. A carer asked at the start to mention anything odd about post, callers and phone calls will do it, and one who is never asked may assume it is not their place.

If you want somebody calling in who would notice, you can search for carers near you and compare their rates before committing to anything. Companionship care is a sensible shape for it: a few hours a week of company, a walk and the shopping, rather than personal care your parent does not need yet.

A carer should never be left in a position where money passes through their hands without a record. What carers are not allowed to do sets out the whole list, including the arrangement experienced carers ask for themselves: a small cash float topped up by the family, a receipt for everything and a line in the diary. The client contract expects the same, reimbursing expenses only against receipts and only where it was agreed in advance. Put it in the care plan you write together rather than raising it once there is an awkward question.

The harder subject is that financial abuse of older people is not only done by strangers. Section 42 of the Care Act 2014 requires a council to make enquiries where it has reasonable cause to suspect an adult with care and support needs is at risk of abuse or neglect and cannot protect themselves, and financial abuse is named in the Act: money or property stolen, being defrauded, or pressure over money. It covers a son as squarely as a caller. How to report a safeguarding concern explains who to tell, and you do not have to be certain before you ring. Money is also where brothers and sisters fall out, and when siblings disagree about a parent's care covers keeping that off your parent too.

Shame is what stops people telling anyone. Somebody who has just been taken in tends to believe it says something about them, and hearing that said out loud by their own children is harder to face than losing the money. The silence that follows lets the same people come back, because nobody at home is watching for the second approach.

That makes the first sentence you say more important than any of the reporting. Say that these are professionals who do this all day, that it works on careful people, and that nobody is going to be cross. Then ring the bank together, because a parent who expects to be told off has every reason to hide the next letter. Citizens Advice keeps a page on getting support after a scam, and if the confidence does not come back, mental health in later life covers who can help.