The short answer
- Most of the preparation is writing things downYou have been running the day from memory. The person covering for you has seen none of it, so the work is getting the routine, the medicines and the numbers onto paper.
- Four weeks of notice makes it easier, and three days still worksA council assessment and a short-term care home place both take time to arrange. A carer booked directly does not wait on an assessment.
- Arrange a visit before the first dayAn hour with you there means your relative is not meeting a new person and losing you on the same morning.
- Know what the booking commits you toA visit you cancel is payable in full, unless the reason is unplanned hospitalisation, illness, or something the carer agrees to. Notice for hourly care is 48 hours.
Figures on this page are what carers on PrimeCarers charge, £18 to £25 an hour with our fee included. Agencies charge £28 to £35 for the same visit.
Where to start
What to sort out first, and roughly when
There is no fixed timetable, and a break arranged in three days is still worth having. If you do have notice, this is the order that saves the most trouble later.
- 1
Fix the dates, then work out what needs covering
About four weeks outWrite down the days you will be away and the hours in each day when your relative needs somebody. Nights are easy to overlook, because a family carer asleep in the next room does not feel like night cover until it has to be bought. What is respite care? sets out every kind of break and what each one suits. - 2
Look at carers near you and speak to two or three
Three weeks outSearch by postcode and read the profiles, then talk to the ones whose experience matches what your relative needs. Questions to ask at interview has the ones worth asking, and this is where you check training, skills and anything specific such as a hoist. - 3
Book an hour together before the week itself
Two weeks outPay for a visit while you are still there. Your relative meets the carer with you in the room, and the carer sees the house and the routine as it runs. Preparing for your carer’s first day covers what to have ready. - 4
Write the pack, then read it back with somebody else
The week beforeWrite the six pages below, then walk a sibling or a neighbour through them. Anything they ask about is a line you left in your head. Writing a care plan with a private carer covers keeping it useful afterwards.
Two things are worth starting in parallel, because they run on their own clock. One is a carer's assessment from the council, which is your right as an unpaid carer under the Care Act 2014 and can lead to money towards a break; what is a carer's assessment? explains how to ask. The other is finding out what exists locally, since sitting services, day centres and hospice support vary a great deal by area. The NHS guide to carers' breaks and respite care lists the routes worth ringing round. Neither has to be finished before you book a carer yourself.
The hand-over pack
The six pages worth writing before you go
One folder, left where anybody can find it, with a page for each part of what you currently hold in your head. The point of writing it is that nobody has to ring you to ask.
The day, hour by hour
- What time they wake, and how they like to be woken
- Washing and dressing, and which parts they still do themselves
- Breakfast, lunch and tea: what they eat, and what they will not
- The rest they take in the afternoon, and how long it usually runs
- What time they go to bed, and the order they like it done in
Written as times rather than tasks, so somebody who has never run the day can follow it from the top.
Medicines
- Their name, date of birth and NHS number at the top of the sheet
- Every medicine: the name, the strength, the form and the dose
- What time each one is due, and whether any of them are time-sensitive
- How each one is taken, such as with food, as a patch, or as drops
- Anything taken only when needed, with the most that can be given in a day
- Known allergies, the GP practice, and the pharmacy that dispenses
This is the list NICE sets out for a medicines record in social care. Agree with the carer beforehand what they are willing to do with medicines, and write down what you have agreed.
Health, and what a bad day looks like
- The conditions they live with, in plain words rather than diagnoses alone
- What a normal day looks like for them, so a change stands out
- The early signs you watch for, such as confusion, a chest infection or a urine infection
- How they move about, what they hold on to, and what they must not lift
- Continence, skin, appetite and sleep, and anything that has changed lately
The carer has no baseline for your relative. Saying what normal looks like is what lets them notice the day it stops being normal.
People and numbers
- The GP surgery, and the out-of-hours number for evenings and weekends
- The district nurse or community team, if one is involved
- The pharmacy, and whether the prescription is on repeat delivery
- You, a second family member, and a neighbour who is usually in
- The social worker or care manager, if the council is involved
- Who holds a lasting power of attorney, and for health or for money
One sheet on the fridge. Somebody covering for you should never have to guess who to ring, or scroll your phone to find out.
The house
- Keys, the door code, the alarm, and who else has a set
- The stopcock, the fuse box, and the boiler timer
- Where the clean bedding, the towels and the spare pads are kept
- How the washing machine and the cooker work, and bin day
- The wifi password, and any door sensor or falls alarm in the house
- Pets: what they eat, when, and who takes the dog out
Small unknowns turn into phone calls to you. Ten minutes writing this page saves most of them.
What to do if
- A fall, whether or not there is an injury, and who to ring first
- They refuse to get up, to wash, or to take a tablet
- They are up and unsettled in the night
- They seem unwell: what would make you want a GP the same day
- The carer cannot come, or is running late
- When to ring 111, when to ring 999, and when to ring you
A decision made in advance on a calm afternoon is a better decision than one made at two in the morning by somebody who has known your relative for three days.
Medicines page based on the record NICE recommends for adults receiving medicines support at home (NG67, recommendations 1.5.5 and 1.7.3).
The medicines page is the one to take most care over, and it is worth following the national guidance rather than your own memory. NICE sets out what a medicines record should contain for adults getting help with medicines at home, in its guideline on managing medicines for adults receiving social care in the community: the person's name, date of birth and NHS number, the name, strength and form of each medicine, what time it is due and how it is taken, the GP practice, any review date, and any known allergies. For anything taken only when needed, NICE asks for the dose, the shortest gap between doses and the most that can be given in a day. Medicines in later life covers managing a lot of tablets.
Agree with the carer, before you book, what they are willing and able to do with medicines. Carers on PrimeCarers are self-employed and each one decides what work they take on, so this is a conversation rather than an assumption. What carers are not allowed to do sets out where the line falls, and anything clinical stays with the district nurse or the GP.
If your relative has dementia, add a page about who they are rather than what they need: where they worked, the names of their children, what they like talking about, and what tends to upset them. Alzheimer's Society publishes a form for this called This is me, which you can fill in and hand over. Dementia care has more on the wider picture.
The routine
Writing down the day, hour by hour
Routine is what keeps the week from feeling like a disruption to your relative. A carer following the day you would have run is doing the most useful thing available to them, so write it as times rather than as a list of tasks.
- Waking
How the day starts
The time they usually wake, whether they want the curtains open or the radio on first, and how long they need before they are ready to move. Say which parts of washing and dressing they still do themselves, because doing it for them takes that away.
- Morning
Breakfast and the first tablets
What they eat, at which chair, and which tablets go with food. If they are slow in the mornings, say so, so the carer plans an hour rather than twenty minutes.
- Midday
The main meal and getting out
When they eat properly and what they will refuse. Whether the garden or a short walk is part of the day. This is the easiest window for anything outside the house.
- Afternoon
Rest, visitors and the phone
How long they sleep and whether they should be woken, and who tends to ring or call round. If they get anxious at a particular time of day, say what usually settles it.
- Evening
Tea, tablets and getting ready for bed
The evening meal, the evening medication, and the order they like bed done in. Locking up, lights left on, and where the alarm pendant sits overnight.
- Night
What happens if they are up
How often they get up and what for, and whether they are unsteady in the dark. Say whether being helped back to bed is welcome or makes it worse.
Write the routine as it is now, not as it was six months ago. If your relative has been getting up later, say the later time, or the carer spends the week making corrections and your relative spends it being got up too early.
Write down the things you stopped noticing years ago as well: which side of the bed they get out of, the mug they use, the pillow that has to go a certain way. Those details are what make a strange week feel less strange. If the cover involves nights or a carer living in, how live-in care works and overnight care explain how each is arranged.
What to tell the carer
What the carer needs from you, and what is theirs to decide
Two different things get called instructions. One is information about your relative, and the carer needs all of it. The other is method, which belongs to the carer, because they are self-employed and responsible for how the work is done.
Tell them all of this
- Every risk you know about: falls, unsteadiness, skin, swallowing, confusion, an infection they are getting over
- What your relative can still do alone, so nobody takes it off them
- Behaviour that has been difficult, including anything that upset the last person who helped
- What you want the week to achieve, such as eating properly and getting outside once a day
- Any change in the situation while you are away, as soon as you know
What causes trouble
- Leaving out something awkward, such as a diagnosis or a difficult night, in case it puts the carer off
- Telling a carer how to do a task they are trained in, instead of saying what you want the outcome to be
- Assuming a carer will do something clinical, or use equipment, without agreeing it first
- Passing on the pack verbally on the doorstep as you leave
- Booking somebody you have not spoken to because the dates were getting close
The contract between a client and a carer puts this in plain terms. You agree to give full and accurate information about known risks, in advance and as things change. The carer agrees to work with reasonable skill and care, and not to take on work they feel unqualified to do. You can specify what you want to happen; you cannot direct or supervise how the carer does it, which is part of what makes them self-employed rather than an employee.
It matters what PrimeCarers does and does not check, because the rest is yours to ask about. Before a carer appears on the site we check their identity and right to work, run an enhanced DBS check kept on the Update Service, and interview them online. We do not check qualifications, training or references. References sit on a carer's profile for you to read, and skills and training are for you to go through with the carer. Carers hold their own insurance, which covers them while they work. Background checks for private carers explains each check. PrimeCarers is an introductory service rather than an agency, so the arrangement itself is between you and the carer.
What it costs
The cost of the week, and what the booking commits you to
You can book a carer directly without waiting for a funding decision. These are the figures for that, and the terms that come with the booking.
£18-£25
An hour for visits, on PrimeCarers
With our fee included. Agencies charge £28 to £35 for the same visit.
£130+
A night for a carer who sleeps in the house
A waking night, where the carer is up and working, starts at about £150.
£1,050+
A week for a live-in carer
Agencies typically charge from £1,400 for the same week.
1.5x
The bank holiday rate
Set in the contract between you and the carer. Christmas Day is charged at twice the normal rate.
PrimeCarers rates, September 2026, with our fee included.
For a week away, a live-in carer usually costs less than the same week built from daily visits plus overnight cover, and it removes the gaps between visits. For a weekend, or a break you take while staying at home, visits are simpler to book. Weekend, evening and bank holiday rates covers how the rate changes across a week.
While you are away
Who to ring, and how much you want to hear
The last hour before you leave is not the time to decide any of this. Agree it in the week before and write it on the front of the pack.
Before you go
0 of 9 ticked
Left in the house
Numbers on the fridge
Agreed with the carer
It is worth having a plan for an emergency that affects you rather than your relative, such as your own illness. Carers UK has guidance on planning for an emergency as a carer, and the useful part is deciding who would step in.
Expect the first day to go less smoothly than the rest. The carer is still learning where things are kept, and your relative is adjusting to somebody new. A call on the first evening about something small is the arrangement working rather than failing. How to deal with falls covers what to do if your relative falls while you are away.
Questions
Questions families ask when planning a first break
About four weeks is comfortable if you have it, because a carer’s assessment from the council takes a few weeks and a short-term care home place is easier to get with notice. Booking a carer directly does not wait on an assessment, so a shorter run-up still works. When to consider respite care covers why asking earlier leaves you more choice.
Yes, and it is worth paying for an hour to make it happen, so that your relative meets the carer with you in the room rather than on the morning you leave. Preparing for your carer’s first day covers what to have ready.
Write it down rather than saying it. NICE sets out what a medicines record should contain: the name, date of birth and NHS number, the name, strength and form of each medicine, when it is due, how it is taken, the GP practice, any review date and any known allergies. For anything taken only when needed, add the dose and the most that can be given in a day. Agree separately what the carer is willing to do with medicines, because carers are self-employed and decide what work they take on. What carers are not allowed to do sets out where the line falls.
Not for a short break. GOV.UK says you can still get Carer’s Allowance if you temporarily stop providing care, and asks you to tell the DWP if you stop caring for more than 28 days for any other reason, or if you or the person you care for will be in hospital, a nursing home or respite care for more than 12 weeks. If you are unsure, ring the Carer’s Allowance Unit before you go. Carer’s Allowance explained covers the benefit in full.
A visit you cancel is payable in full, unless the reason is unplanned hospitalisation, illness, or another reason the carer agrees to. Ending an arrangement takes 48 hours’ notice for hourly care; for live-in care the notice period is 7 days once the carer has worked 168 hours, and 48 hours before that. PrimeCarers charges nothing for a cancellation and does not set the terms between you and the carer. Cancellations and late-running visits works through the situations that come up most.
Introduce the arrangement as something that lets them stay at home while you are away, rather than as care being taken over. A visit beforehand helps more than any amount of explaining, because somebody who has already met the carer is not being asked to agree to an idea. It also helps to give your relative something to decide. How do you get someone to accept care? goes through the conversation in more depth.
On PrimeCarers, visits run from £18 to £25 an hour, a carer sleeping in the house overnight starts at about £130 a night, and a live-in carer covering a full week starts from about £1,050, all with our fee included. Agencies charge £28 to £35 an hour, or from £1,400 a week for live-in cover. See current rates.