The short answer
- You have rights from your first day in the jobUnpaid time off for a sudden crisis, a week of Carer’s Leave a year, and the right to ask for different hours all apply as an employee, however new the job is.
- Sort what cannot wait from what canMedication, appointments and anything to do with safety come first. Housework and jobs somebody else could do come after.
- You do not have to do all of it yourselfA paid carer for part of the week can cover the hours you are at work. Friends, neighbours and charities can take on some of the rest.
- A brother or sister further away can still take jobs onForms, phone calls and paying the bills can all be done from a distance, so the sibling who lives closest and also works is not left with everything.
- Carer's Allowance is worth checking even if it sounds smallIt pays £86.45 a week if you care 35 hours a week or more and earn £204 a week or less after tax, National Insurance and expenses.
The employment rights here apply in England, Scotland and Wales; Northern Ireland has its own rules. If you are not an employee, the box under the three rights below explains where you stand.
What the law gives you
Three rights that apply whether you started the job yesterday or ten years ago
None of these depend on how long you have worked somewhere, and your employer cannot dismiss you or treat you worse for using them. Which one fits depends on how much warning you have.
Right now
Time off for dependants
Employment Rights Act 1996, section 57A
An unexpected crisis with your parent or partner: a fall, a hospital admission, or a care arrangement that has fallen through with no warning
How much
No set amount: a reasonable time to deal with the emergency and put arrangements in place. If you need longer, your employer may ask you to use annual leave
Paid or unpaid
Unpaid, unless your contract says otherwise
Notice needed
None needed in advance. Tell your employer as soon as you reasonably can, even after you have already left
This month, planned ahead
Carer's Leave
Carer's Leave Act 2023, in force since 6 April 2024
Planned time to arrange or give care to a parent, partner or anyone who depends on you, where the need is expected to last more than three months, or comes from a disability or old age
How much
Up to one working week a year, pro rata if you work part time, taken as whole days or half days
Paid or unpaid
Unpaid
Notice needed
At least three days for a half day or a day. For longer, at least twice the length of the leave. It does not have to be in writing
From now on, a lasting change
A flexible working request
Employment Rights Act 1996, as amended by the Employment Relations (Flexible Working) Act 2023
A permanent change to your hours, your days or where you work, so caring fits around the job for good rather than getting you through one bad week
How much
Up to two requests in any 12 months
Paid or unpaid
Whatever the new arrangement pays; this changes the job rather than giving you leave from it
Notice needed
Your employer must discuss it with you and decide within two months, or longer if you agree to that
Time off for dependants is the one to reach for on a bad day: your mother has fallen, or the carer who was due this morning has not turned up. It also covers the time needed to arrange longer-term care after an emergency, such as ringing round for a carer once your father has been taken ill. It does not cover something you knew about in advance, like a hospital appointment booked weeks ago.
Carer's Leave is for the things you can see coming, a run of hospital appointments while she recovers, or a fortnight sorting out a house move into somewhere safer. Your employer cannot refuse it. They can ask you to take it at a different time only if your absence would cause serious disruption, and then they must agree another date within a month of the one you asked for and put the reason in writing. You do not have to give evidence of your parent's needs.
A flexible working request is the bigger step, changing the job itself so the arrangement holds for months or years rather than one week, as it may need to if your partner has dementia that started before 65 or MS alongside a job of their own. Talking to your employer further down this page covers how to put a request like this to them well.
All three are unpaid by law, though some employers pay for carer's leave or offer paid compassionate leave on top.
What has to happen first
Deciding what needs doing this week, and what can wait
When everything feels urgent, the tasks that cannot slip are usually fewer than they seem. Splitting the list into three groups makes it easier to see where your own time is needed and where somebody else could step in.
Where does each task sit?
0 of 9 ticked
Cannot wait
Matters, but can flex
Put down for now
Writing the list down, even roughly, stops the whole situation feeling like one shapeless weight. It also gives you something concrete to hand to your employer, a family member or a paid carer when you ask for help, because you can say exactly what needs doing rather than how worried you are.
Sharing the load
Bringing in help without doing all of it yourself
Once you can see the list, the next question is who else could take some of it. Some tasks will stay with you, some can go to a paid carer, and some can be covered by a charity or a piece of technology.
Family, friends and neighbours
A carer for part of the week
Reminders and simple monitoring
Charities that specialise in this
None of this has to be settled in one go. A single morning visit a week from a carer, alongside a family member covering weekends, is a perfectly good starting arrangement, and you can add to it once you see what difference it makes. Building a wider support network goes through this in more detail, including how to ask for help without it feeling like a failure to cope alone.
Brothers and sisters
Sharing the care with siblings, so it does not all fall on the one who is nearest
If you live closest to your parent, the everyday jobs can drift towards you without anybody deciding it, even though you also have a job to hold down. A brother or sister who lives further away, or works long hours of their own, can still take on real parts of the work if it is agreed and written down.
Forms and phone calls
The money
Planned cover
Keeping in touch with the carer
The split works better when it is agreed out loud than when it is assumed. Holding a family meeting about care sets out how to run that conversation, and sharing care between siblings covers dividing the jobs fairly when you live at different distances. If a brother or sister will not take anything on, when siblings are not helping looks at what you can do, and organising care as a family brings the whole set of family guides together.
Talking to your employer
Raising it before it becomes a crisis
An employer can only help with what it knows about. A short, specific conversation early on usually goes better than an explanation given after several difficult weeks.
- 1
Check what your workplace already offers
Before you ask for anythingLook in your contract, staff handbook or intranet for a carers policy, paid carer’s leave, compassionate leave or a staff carers network. Some employers offer more than the legal minimum, and knowing it helps you ask for the right thing. - 2
Write down what you need, not just what is wrong
Before the conversationA change to your start time on Tuesdays, one day working from home, or knowing you can leave promptly on a specific afternoon. A specific ask is easier for a manager to say yes to than a general description of how hard things are. You do not have to share details of your parent’s health that you would rather keep private. - 3
Have the conversation with your manager first
Informally, if you canSome arrangements are agreed without any formal process at all: a manager who knows what is going on may be able to adjust a rota or cover a shift without you needing to use a legal right. Keep a short note of what was agreed. - 4
Put in a formal request if it needs to be lasting
Flexible working requestWrite to your employer, say that it is a statutory request for flexible working, and give the date, the change you are asking for and when you would like it to start. Say whether you have made a request before, and when. Your employer must discuss it with you before refusing it and give a decision within two months, and a refusal has to rest on one of the business reasons set out in law. - 5
Use Carer’s Leave or time off for dependants where they fit
As the situation needsThese do not need your employer’s agreement in the way a flexible working request does. Tell them what you are taking and why, giving the notice Carer’s Leave needs, or telling them as soon as you can in an emergency. - 6
Get free advice if it is refused unreasonably
Acas or Citizens AdviceBoth give free, confidential advice on what to do next if an employer will not engage or turns down a reasonable request without a proper reason.
Acas publishes a guide to making a flexible working request, with a template letter you can adapt, and its guidance on carer's leave is written for employees as well as managers.
Getting paid for some of what you do
Carer's Allowance, and the earnings limit that catches working carers out
Carer's Allowance is a benefit paid to you, not to your parent, if you spend a lot of a week caring for them. It is worth knowing about even if your job means you will not qualify, because a change in your hours could put you within reach of it.
Caring for 35 hours a week on top of a full-time job leaves very little of the week, and a full-time wage is above the earnings limit. Where the allowance tends to matter is if you are already considering reduced hours or a career break to care: at that point the sums change, and the allowance, along with the National Insurance credits that come with it, can be worth having.
Two rules matter to working carers in particular. If you pay a carer to look after your parent while you are at work, gov.uk lets you count that cost as an expense when your earnings are worked out, up to half of your earnings, as long as the carer is not your spouse, partner, parent, child or sibling. And only one person can claim Carer's Allowance for the same parent, so if you and a sister share the caring, only one of you can claim it, and the 35 hours have to be that person's own. In Scotland the equivalent benefit is Carer Support Payment, claimed from Social Security Scotland.
Carer's Allowance in full covers eligibility, the earnings limit and how to claim in detail, and can my mum pay me to care for her? covers the separate question of being paid directly by a parent instead of, or alongside, the allowance.
Watching your own limits
Signs it is you who needs support next
Caring for someone while holding down a job is demanding in a way that is easy to underestimate until it has already worn you down. Watching for the signs in yourself matters as much as watching for them in your parent.
Worth paying attention to
- Sleep that keeps getting shorter because you are thinking about tomorrow’s visits or appointments
- Snapping at colleagues, your partner or your children over small things
- Skipping meals, exercise or your own medical appointments because there is no time left
- Feeling numb or flat about things you used to enjoy
- A GP visit for yourself, not just for your parent, if any of this has been true for more than a few weeks
Worth resisting
- Waiting until you are exhausted before asking anyone for help
- Assuming a break counts as giving up on caring for your parent
- Turning down respite care because it feels like handing someone else your job
- Treating your own health as the thing that can wait
You are entitled to a carer's assessment from your parent's council, and under the Care Act 2014 the council has to take into account whether you work or want to keep working. What is a carer's assessment? explains how to ask for one.
NHS talking therapies are free and you can refer yourself without seeing a GP first, and Mind and Samaritans both offer support if things feel harder than you can manage alone. If a short break away from caring would help, respite care explains how it works and what it costs, and when to consider it is written for exactly the point you may be at now, when it is hard to tell whether you need it yet.
Questions
Questions working carers ask
No. Time off for dependants, Carer’s Leave and the right to request flexible working all apply from your first day in a job, as long as you are an employee. There is no qualifying period for any of the three.
Carer’s Leave is up to one working week every 12 months of unpaid leave to arrange or give care to a parent, partner or anyone who depends on you, where the need is expected to last more than three months or is due to a disability or old age. It can be taken as whole days or half days. For a half day or a day you need to give at least three days’ notice, and for anything longer, at least twice the length of the leave. Your employer cannot refuse it, though they can postpone it if your absence would cause serious disruption. Full details on gov.uk.
Yes, but only for one of the business reasons set out in law, and they must discuss the request with you first. They have two months to decide, or longer if you agree to that. You can make up to two flexible working requests in any 12 months. If a request is turned down without proper reasons, Acas or Citizens Advice can advise on what to do next.
Not unless your employment contract says otherwise. It covers a reasonable amount of unpaid time to deal with an unexpected emergency involving a dependant, such as a fall or a care arrangement collapsing with no warning, and to arrange longer-term care. It is meant for the crisis itself, not for the days of recovery afterwards, which is what Carer’s Leave or annual leave are for.
Carer's Allowance pays £86.45 a week (2026/27) if you spend 35 hours a week or more caring for someone who already receives a qualifying disability benefit, and your own earnings are £204 a week or less after tax, National Insurance and expenses. The full guide to Carer's Allowance covers the qualifying benefits, how to claim and what to do if you are refused.
No. Only one person can claim Carer's Allowance for the same person, and whoever claims needs to do the 35 hours a week themselves. If you both want to claim, the Department for Work and Pensions decides who should receive it. Sharing care between siblings covers dividing the rest of the work between you.
Sometimes, depending on how your parent’s care is funded and what the council allows. It is a different question from Carer’s Allowance, and the two do not always sit well together. Can my mum pay me to care for her? sets out the tax, benefit and council rules.
Talk to your employer before it reaches crisis point, and ask your brothers and sisters for specific jobs rather than general help. Bringing in a paid carer for part of the week, even a few hours, can take enough pressure off that the job stays workable. Search carers near your parent to see who is available, or read about respite care if what you need is a proper break rather than ongoing help.