The short answer
- Staying put can work for longer with the right helpFree equipment, a Disabled Facilities Grant of up to £30,000 and paid help at home can keep a house working. Look at this before anybody puts a house on the market.
- If your parent moves, choose the place as carefully as the houseA single-level home with a level shower helps only if the GP, the shops and the people who visit are still within reach.
- Living with family needs agreeing in writingTalk through money, privacy and what happens if it stops working before anybody moves. An annexe lived in by a relative aged 65 or over is exempt from council tax.
- Your parent decides where they liveAn adult who can understand the decision makes it, even if the family thinks it unwise. Start with what they want and work out how to make it safe.
Care figures are what carers on PrimeCarers charge, £18 to £25 an hour with our fee included, against £28 to £35 through an agency. Grant and tax figures are from gov.uk for England, checked in September 2026.
The choices side by side
Seven places an older parent could live, and what each one changes
Families come to this question when something has started to go wrong: the stairs, the bath, a long drive to visit, or a parent who is lonely in a house built for five. Each option below solves some of those problems and leaves others in place, so it helps to see them together before settling on one.
The housing choices for an older parent, side by side
| Option | Who it suits | What changes | Which way the money moves | What to check first |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Staying put, with help | A parent who is settled, whose house can be made to work, and who wants to stay near the people and places they know. | Equipment and adaptations go in, and paid help comes to the house by the hour or as a live-in carer. | Care is bought as needed: £18 to £25 an hour on PrimeCarers with our fee included, or live-in from £1,050 a week. Adaptations may be grant funded. | Whether the stairs, the bathroom and the front step can be fixed, and who covers the gaps between visits. |
| A smaller or single-level home | A parent who is well enough to move and set up again, in a house that is too big, too steep or too far from help. | A new address, usually with fewer stairs and less upkeep, and sometimes closer to family. | Moving costs and possibly stamp duty on one side. Running costs may fall, and a sale may release money. | Step-free access, a ground-floor toilet, the distance to the GP and shops, and whether your parent wants to go. |
| Moving in with family | A family with the room and the time, and a parent who would welcome living with them. | Your parent joins your household. Privacy, routines and who does the care all need agreeing. | Housing costs may fall for your parent. Benefits and council tax for the household can change. | A bedroom and toilet your parent can reach, what happens if the arrangement ends, and breaks for whoever is caring. |
| A granny annexe | A parent who wants their own front door with family a few steps away. | A self-contained space on the family’s plot, built, converted or bought with the house. | Building or converting costs money and may need planning permission. Council tax on the annexe can be reduced by 50% or removed. | Planning, who owns it, and how the money is put in, because that can matter in a later means test. |
| Retirement or sheltered housing | A parent who manages day to day but wants less to look after, an alarm and neighbours nearby. | A flat or bungalow in a scheme with a manager or warden and an emergency alarm. Care is not included. | Bought or rented, with a service charge on top. Care at home is paid for separately if it is needed. | The lease or tenancy, the service charge, the age rules, and whether an outside carer can visit. |
| Extra care housing | A parent who needs some help each day but wants their own flat rather than a room. | Their own front door, with staff on site and care that can increase as needs grow. | Rent or purchase, a service charge, and care hours bought on top. | How care is provided and charged, the waiting list, and what happens if needs outgrow the scheme. |
| A care home | A parent whose needs, day and night, are more than help at home can safely cover. | A room in a home with staff around the clock, and nurses on site in a nursing home. | About £1,160 a week for a residential place and £1,410 for nursing, as national averages. The house can count in the means test. | The CQC rating and report, the contract and fee rises, and whether your parent has agreed to the move. |
Staying put, with help
- Who it suits
- A parent who is settled, whose house can be made to work, and who wants to stay near the people and places they know.
- What changes
- Equipment and adaptations go in, and paid help comes to the house by the hour or as a live-in carer.
- Which way the money moves
- Care is bought as needed: £18 to £25 an hour on PrimeCarers with our fee included, or live-in from £1,050 a week. Adaptations may be grant funded.
- What to check first
- Whether the stairs, the bathroom and the front step can be fixed, and who covers the gaps between visits.
A smaller or single-level home
- Who it suits
- A parent who is well enough to move and set up again, in a house that is too big, too steep or too far from help.
- What changes
- A new address, usually with fewer stairs and less upkeep, and sometimes closer to family.
- Which way the money moves
- Moving costs and possibly stamp duty on one side. Running costs may fall, and a sale may release money.
- What to check first
- Step-free access, a ground-floor toilet, the distance to the GP and shops, and whether your parent wants to go.
Moving in with family
- Who it suits
- A family with the room and the time, and a parent who would welcome living with them.
- What changes
- Your parent joins your household. Privacy, routines and who does the care all need agreeing.
- Which way the money moves
- Housing costs may fall for your parent. Benefits and council tax for the household can change.
- What to check first
- A bedroom and toilet your parent can reach, what happens if the arrangement ends, and breaks for whoever is caring.
A granny annexe
- Who it suits
- A parent who wants their own front door with family a few steps away.
- What changes
- A self-contained space on the family’s plot, built, converted or bought with the house.
- Which way the money moves
- Building or converting costs money and may need planning permission. Council tax on the annexe can be reduced by 50% or removed.
- What to check first
- Planning, who owns it, and how the money is put in, because that can matter in a later means test.
Retirement or sheltered housing
- Who it suits
- A parent who manages day to day but wants less to look after, an alarm and neighbours nearby.
- What changes
- A flat or bungalow in a scheme with a manager or warden and an emergency alarm. Care is not included.
- Which way the money moves
- Bought or rented, with a service charge on top. Care at home is paid for separately if it is needed.
- What to check first
- The lease or tenancy, the service charge, the age rules, and whether an outside carer can visit.
Extra care housing
- Who it suits
- A parent who needs some help each day but wants their own flat rather than a room.
- What changes
- Their own front door, with staff on site and care that can increase as needs grow.
- Which way the money moves
- Rent or purchase, a service charge, and care hours bought on top.
- What to check first
- How care is provided and charged, the waiting list, and what happens if needs outgrow the scheme.
A care home
- Who it suits
- A parent whose needs, day and night, are more than help at home can safely cover.
- What changes
- A room in a home with staff around the clock, and nurses on site in a nursing home.
- Which way the money moves
- About £1,160 a week for a residential place and £1,410 for nursing, as national averages. The house can count in the means test.
- What to check first
- The CQC rating and report, the contract and fee rises, and whether your parent has agreed to the move.
Care figures are what carers on PrimeCarers charge, with our fee included, and national averages for care homes. House prices, service charges and building costs vary too much by area to give one figure.
Read the table as a set of possibilities rather than a ladder. Nobody has to move down it in order, and a parent can stay in the first row for good with the house adapted and help coming in. A parent can also move sideways, for instance from a family home into a bungalow near a daughter, and then need care at home there.
Two of the rows are the kind of help PrimeCarers is for: carers who visit by the hour or live in, wherever your parent is living. We are an introductory service. Carers on PrimeCarers are self-employed, set their own rates and agree their visits with the family. The other rows are housing decisions that we do not provide or place anybody into, and this page explains them so you can weigh them fairly. The rest of the elderly care section covers the day-to-day questions that sit alongside this one.
Staying put
Staying in their own home, with the house adapted and help coming in
For a parent who is settled where they are, the first question is whether the house can be made to work rather than whether they should leave it. Stairs, a bath that has become too high to climb into and a step at the front door all have fixes, and some of those fixes are paid for by the council.
Small equipment and adaptations
Free if under £1,000 each
Larger work through a grant
Up to £30,000 in England
Care at home by the hour
£18 to £25 an hour on PrimeCarers
A live-in carer
From £1,050 a week
The first two cards come from separate pots of public money. The NHS guide to care you can get for free covers equipment and minor adaptations, which the council provides after it has assessed what your parent needs. The Disabled Facilities Grant is for bigger building work. For an adult it is means-tested on household income and on savings over £6,000, and gov.uk says the council must give a decision within 6 months. Foundations, the government-funded body for home improvement agencies in England, can point you to local help with the application. Home adaptations that reduce the need for care goes through the house room by room, and stairs, stairlifts and moving downstairs deals with the stairs in detail.
The building work is only half of staying put. The other half is who helps with the parts of the day your parent can no longer manage alone, and what home care covers and how to arrange it explains the different kinds of visit. A parent who needs help at both ends of the day and through the night may be better served by live-in care, which needs a spare room but means somebody is in the house all the time. If you would rather your parent stayed where they are with some help, you can search for carers near them and compare their rates before deciding anything else.
Every carer on PrimeCarers has had an identity check, a right to work check, an enhanced DBS check issued within the last 18 months, and an online interview. We do not check qualifications, training or references. References from past employers and families, and reviews from PrimeCarers bookings, can appear on a carer's profile, but they are not verified by us, so ask the carer about their experience and check it yourself. Separately, every visit booked through PrimeCarers is insured, by the carer's own policy or by cover PrimeCarers arranges where they do not hold one.
A more suitable home
Moving to a smaller house, a bungalow or a flat: what to look for
Some houses cannot be made to work. The stairs may be too narrow for a lift, there may be no room for a downstairs bathroom, or the house may sit at the top of a hill two buses from the nearest shop. In that case a move to somewhere smaller and easier can keep a parent independent for longer than staying would.
| What to look for | What to check when you view | |
|---|---|---|
| Getting to the door | A level or gently sloping path, a step-free or single-step entrance, and parking close to the door. | Whether a ramp or a rail could be added later, and how the path looks in the dark and the rain. |
| Getting around inside | A bedroom and a toilet on the ground floor, or a single-level flat with a lift. Wide doors and room to turn a walking frame. | Take a tape measure to the doorways. If there are stairs, check whether a stairlift would fit. |
| The bathroom | A walk-in shower or wet room rather than a bath, close to the bedroom. | Whether the walls could take grab rails, and whether the shower tray has a step. |
| Warmth and upkeep | Good insulation, heating controls that are easy to read, and a garden small enough to manage. | Ask for the energy performance certificate and what the heating costs through a winter. |
| The GP, shops and transport | A surgery, a pharmacy and a shop within walking distance or on a bus route, for when driving stops. | Walk the route at your parent's pace. Check which GP practice covers the address and whether it is taking patients. |
| Family and friends | Close enough for somebody to call in on an ordinary day, and to come quickly on a bad one. | How far your parent would be from the friends, church or club they have now, and whether they mind. |
Getting to the door
- What to look for
- A level or gently sloping path, a step-free or single-step entrance, and parking close to the door.
- What to check when you view
- Whether a ramp or a rail could be added later, and how the path looks in the dark and the rain.
Getting around inside
- What to look for
- A bedroom and a toilet on the ground floor, or a single-level flat with a lift. Wide doors and room to turn a walking frame.
- What to check when you view
- Take a tape measure to the doorways. If there are stairs, check whether a stairlift would fit.
The bathroom
- What to look for
- A walk-in shower or wet room rather than a bath, close to the bedroom.
- What to check when you view
- Whether the walls could take grab rails, and whether the shower tray has a step.
Warmth and upkeep
- What to look for
- Good insulation, heating controls that are easy to read, and a garden small enough to manage.
- What to check when you view
- Ask for the energy performance certificate and what the heating costs through a winter.
The GP, shops and transport
- What to look for
- A surgery, a pharmacy and a shop within walking distance or on a bus route, for when driving stops.
- What to check when you view
- Walk the route at your parent's pace. Check which GP practice covers the address and whether it is taking patients.
Family and friends
- What to look for
- Close enough for somebody to call in on an ordinary day, and to come quickly on a bad one.
- What to check when you view
- How far your parent would be from the friends, church or club they have now, and whether they mind.
Nothing here is a PrimeCarers service. We introduce carers, who can visit whichever house your parent chooses.
The questions that decided your parent's last house, such as school catchments, the commute and a big garden, mostly stop mattering. What replaces them is practical. A smaller, easier house costs less to heat and keep up, and the money saved can go on help at home or on taxis once the car has gone. The surroundings matter as much as the building. Some parents do better with a high street within walking distance, and others would rather have a quiet road where visitors can park. Ask your parent which they would prefer, and visit at different times of day rather than only when the house has been tidied for a viewing.
A new-build is more likely to have level access and good insulation. An older house can feel more like home and may suit a parent who values familiar surroundings, as long as the work it needs is modest. Look one step ahead as well: a downstairs dining room that could become a bedroom, or a shower that could become a wet room, is worth almost as much as one already done.
Grants, the council and stamp dutySection titled Grants%2C%20the%20council%20and%20stamp%20duty
A Disabled Facilities Grant can be used on the new home as well as the old one. gov.uk says the disabled person must be the owner or tenant and must intend to live in the property for the grant period, which is usually 5 years. It also says you might not get any grant if work starts before the council approves the application, so do not let a builder start on the new house first.
If your parent rents from the council or a housing association, the NHS says councils and housing associations can help with a transfer or an exchange to a more suitable property, so ask the landlord before looking privately. gov.uk explains how to apply for council housing in your parent's area.
On a purchase in England, stamp duty is not charged on the first £125,000 of the price, and the rates above that are set out on gov.uk's residential rates page. That page also explains when higher rates apply if the old home has not been sold by the time the new one is bought, which matters when a parent is buying before selling. A solicitor or conveyancer will confirm the figure for the actual purchase. We do not give financial or legal advice, and a regulated financial adviser is worth consulting if the sale is meant to pay for care.
Living with family
Moving in with family, or into a granny annexe
Having a parent live with you can be the closest thing to staying at home, and it can also change a household more than anybody expected. It works best when the practical questions are settled before the move rather than after it.
What helps it work
- A bedroom and a toilet your parent can reach without stairs, or an annexe on one level
- Agreeing in writing who pays for what, and what happens if the arrangement ends
- Your parent keeping their own space, their own routine and a door they can close
- Paid help for the personal care, so that the family does not do all of it
- A carer's assessment from the council for whoever is doing the most
- Breaks booked in the diary from the start
What tends to cause trouble
- One person taking on the care because they have the spare room and nobody discussed it
- Your parent putting money into your home with nothing written down
- Assuming the arrangement will suit everybody in the house in five years' time
- Waiting until the family carer is exhausted before bringing in help
- Deciding for your parent that they will move in, rather than asking them
The NHS guidance on sharing your home with the person you care for says that the number of people living in a home, and their income, can affect benefits for carers and council tax, and suggests a written agreement about sharing bills and what happens if the arrangement ends, with professional advice before it is signed. Living with elderly parents covers the day-to-day side, including privacy and the effect on the rest of the family.
A granny annexeSection titled A%20granny%20annexe
An annexe gives your parent their own front door with the family a few steps away. It may be a converted garage, an extension, or a separate building in the garden, and it can need planning permission. Granny annexes covers building, costs and planning.
Council tax on an annexe is where the rules help. In England, the annexe regulations give a 50% reduction where the annexe is the main home of a relative of the person paying council tax on the main house. Under Class W of the exempt dwellings order the annexe is exempt altogether where it is the main home of a dependent relative, and a relative aged 65 or over counts as dependent. Neither happens automatically, so tell the council when your parent moves in. Is a granny annexe subject to council tax? sets out the detail. Where a home has an extra bathroom or room, or extra space for a wheelchair, because somebody living there is disabled, gov.uk's Disabled Band Reduction Scheme can reduce the bill by one band, or by 17% in band A.
Retirement housing
Retirement, sheltered and extra care housing
These sit between a family home and a care home. Your parent keeps their own front door and their own furniture, with neighbours of a similar age and some help on site. They differ mainly in how much care is built in.
Sheltered or retirement housing
Care not included
Extra care housing
Care on site
Close care
Next to a care home
Retirement villages
A larger development
These descriptions follow the NHS guide to housing options for older people. Schemes vary a great deal in what the service charge covers, in their age limits and in what happens if needs grow, so read the lease or tenancy in full before signing. Community retirement living goes through the costs, the leases and the questions to ask on a visit, and Age UK's housing options information is a good independent place to read further.
Retirement housing does not rule out care at home. A carer can visit a flat in a sheltered scheme as they would visit any other home, and a live-in carer can live in a flat with a spare bedroom. That can let a parent stay in a scheme they like after their needs have outgrown what the scheme itself provides.
A care home
When a care home is the better answer
A care home is the right choice for some people, and the reasons are usually about the level of care rather than the building. It is worth considering when needs run through the day and night and help at home can no longer cover them safely, or when your parent would rather have people around them.
| Who it is for | Average weekly fee | |
|---|---|---|
| Residential care home | Help with washing, dressing, meals, medication and moving about, with staff there day and night. | About £1,160, in a range of £1,100 to £1,600 |
| Nursing home | The same care, plus a registered nurse on site at all times for a medical or nursing need. | About £1,410 |
| For comparison: a live-in carer at home | One carer living in, for a parent who wants to stay at home with somebody there day and night. | From £1,050 on PrimeCarers, typically £1,120 |
Residential care home
- Who it is for
- Help with washing, dressing, meals, medication and moving about, with staff there day and night.
- Average weekly fee
- About £1,160, in a range of £1,100 to £1,600
Nursing home
- Who it is for
- The same care, plus a registered nurse on site at all times for a medical or nursing need.
- Average weekly fee
- About £1,410
For comparison: a live-in carer at home
- Who it is for
- One carer living in, for a parent who wants to stay at home with somebody there day and night.
- Average weekly fee
- From £1,050 on PrimeCarers, typically £1,120
Care home figures are national averages for comparison, not PrimeCarers prices. Live-in figures are what families pay on PrimeCarers with our fee included.
The money works differently once somebody moves into a care home. For care at home, your parent's house is not counted in the council's means test while they live in it. For a permanent care home place it can be, which means savings and the value of the house together may take them over the £23,250 upper limit, above which people in England pay the full cost. There are exceptions: the statutory guidance says the house must be disregarded if a partner, or a relative aged 60 or over or incapacitated, has lived there as their main home since before your parent moved into the home. How local authority funding works covers the means test.
Care at home or a care home compares the two in full. When a care home is the direction, choosing a care home explains how to judge one, including its CQC rating and inspection report, and moving a parent into a care home covers the weeks around the move.
Deciding together
How to decide together, starting with what your parent wants
This is your parent's decision about their own home. The family's part is to find out what they want, lay out the choices plainly, and help make the one they choose work. These steps are in the order that tends to avoid rushed decisions and arguments.
- 1
Ask your parent what matters to them
Before anything elseAsk what they would miss about the house and what they find hard in it now, and where they would live if they could choose. Their answers usually narrow the options quickly, and a plan built on them is one they will stick to. - 2
Get the needs assessed
FreeAsk the council for a care needs assessment and an occupational therapy visit. It tells you what help and equipment your parent needs, and whether the current house could provide for that. - 3
Work out the money for each option
This monthAdd up what staying with help would cost, what a move would cost and release, and what each option does to benefits and council tax. Take regulated financial advice before selling a house or moving money. - 4
Sort out lasting powers of attorney
While your parent canA property and financial affairs power of attorney lets a trusted person handle a sale or a tenancy if your parent later cannot. It has to be made while your parent can understand it. - 5
Try it before committing
Where you canA few weeks of visits at home, a short stay in a care home, or a longer visit to family all show how an option feels before anybody sells a house or signs a lease.
Families do not always agree, and a parent may choose something their children think is risky. The law starts from your parent's side. Under section 1 of the Mental Capacity Act 2005 a person is assumed to have capacity unless it is shown that they lack it, and they are not to be treated as unable to make a decision merely because it is an unwise one. If there is doubt about whether your parent can understand and weigh up this particular decision, mental capacity and how it is assessed explains what happens, and whether an older person can be forced into care covers the narrow exceptions. If brothers and sisters cannot agree, when siblings disagree about a parent's care may help, and how to talk to a parent about getting a carer is written for the conversation itself.
Questions
Questions families ask about where an older parent should live
Your parent can stay in their own home with adaptations and paid help, move to a smaller or single-level home, move in with family or into a granny annexe, move into retirement or sheltered housing, move into extra care housing with care on site, or move into a care home. The options can be combined, for example a bungalow near family with a carer visiting.
Adapt it if the changes are modest and your parent is settled there. Equipment under £1,000 can be free after a council assessment, and a Disabled Facilities Grant of up to £30,000 can pay for larger work. Moving makes more sense when the house cannot be adapted, such as narrow stairs with no room downstairs for a bathroom, or when it is far from help. Home adaptations that reduce the need for care shows what can be done first.
Yes, if your parent will live there. gov.uk says the applicant must be the owner or tenant and intend to live in the property for the grant period, usually 5 years. The grant is up to £30,000 in England and means-tested for adults. Do not start work before the council approves the application, or you might get nothing.
In England, an annexe that is the main home of a relative of the person paying council tax on the main house gets a 50% reduction, and it is exempt altogether if that relative is a dependent relative, which includes anybody aged 65 or over. Tell the council when she moves in, because neither is applied automatically. Council tax on a granny annexe has the detail.
Sheltered housing gives your parent their own flat with a manager or warden and an emergency alarm, but no care. Extra care housing, also called assisted living, adds staff on site who can help with meals and personal care, and the help can increase as needs grow. Community retirement living compares them in more detail.
It can. The NHS notes that the number of people in a home, and their income, can affect benefits for carers and council tax. Tell the Department for Work and Pensions and the council about the change, and check your position with a benefits adviser before the move. A council carer's assessment is also worth asking for.
Yes. An adult who can understand and weigh up the decision chooses where they live, even if the family disagrees, and an unwise choice does not by itself show that they cannot decide. Where your parent cannot make the decision, it is made in their best interests under the Mental Capacity Act 2005. How capacity is assessed explains the process.